Speechless

What a wild crazy ride! That’s the best way to sum up the last 5 days.

I met him on Thursday, and we’ve been pretty much inseparable since then.

The only thing I can say about it is…. sometimes it’s just right, and you know it.

Typically, I don’t allow someone to enter my life so quickly. I’m more reserved. I’m safe…

But with him…. Oh my. I lose all sense of control.

It was moving weekend so I had a LOT to do. He offered himself up for ANYTHING I needed. At first I declined, after all… we’d just met. However, after thinking about it for a couple of hours after I left him.. I just took a chance.

I needed the help and he was offering.

Why not?

He was there as soon as I said the words and was my saving grace. Whatever I needed, he was there. If I was trying to lift a box.. he intervened with “that’s what I’m here for”. He opens doors and takes control… but just in a ‘taking care of you’ kind of way. He says sir and ma’am. He met my family, attended my children’s ball games, and snuck his way into my heart without me even knowing.

He is a man is every sense of the word.

He is tattoos and tall and holy biceps batman.

He is totally not like anyone I’ve ever dated before… and I love it.

Getting out of my ‘box’ is hard to do.. but staying in it has led me nowhere.

I could say so much… but words escape me at the moment.

The weekend was like a dream.. and waking up this morning I was praying it wasn’t.

And since he was next to me…. I knew it was real.

I’m still trying to catch my breath.

Aside from the whirlwind romance I’m living…. the move when well, and my place is settled and I love it.

Life has a funny way of turning around so quick you don’t even know what hit you.

I had no idea meeting him would lead to what it has…. but I’m so grateful it did.

He made what was going to be a miserable weekend…. amazing.

Sometimes looks can be deceiving… and he’s the one who proved me wrong.

So what if tattoos line his arms. So what if he’s a little wild and crazy. So what if he’s a little dangerous and fun.

Maybe that’s exactly what I need…

Because he’s also the sweetest, kindest gentleman I’ve met in a long time. He’d hurt whomever tried to harm someone he loves without a second guess.

In the last 5 days I’ve spent with him…. I know more about him than most men I’ve dated for months.

I love that he’s not ashamed of who he is.

And I love that he’s absolutely crazy about me and not afraid to show it.

He’s left me speechless.

 

 

Getting There

Two words: Packing SUCKS.

I’m so over this whole moving thing.

My bff came over last night with a smile, AND dinner. She’s an amazing friend and I love her to pieces.

I couldn’t thank her enough. Finally she just told me to shut the hell up and if I thanked her one more time she was going to leave me. Ha.

What can I say? When someone goes out of their way to be there for me at a time when I need them the most… I’m indebted to that person. I feel truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life who surround me with willing hands to do whatever needs to be done.

We got so much done and  I would have been so much farther behind without her help. When you move… you realize how much shit you have… that you didn’t think you had. Funny how that happens.

I squeezed a lot of crap into that 2 bedroom apartment…. but hey, I’m a woman. We’re good at things like that.

Packing mine and my daughter’s shoes last night made me realize we have a problem. A shoe problem. Nobody in their right mind needs that many pair of damn shoes.

Instead of going through them and taking some of them to goodwill where they belong.. I packed them all.

The cycle will never end. *sigh*

The boxes are stacked high in the living room and ready for the manly mover men to haul them away.

I was thanking the heavens all night that it wasn’t ME who was going to have to be trucking those heavy boxes down the stairs.

Anyway…. we’re almost there. We ran out of boxes so there are a few more things that need to be packed, but that is my project for tonight.

Yay. The excitement is too much to handle. Ugh.

All I can do is focus on the weekend and just knowing it will all be in the house and ready to unpack Friday when I get off work thrills me.

Oh… and I did talk to someone who piqued my interest yesterday, because I’ve got all kinds of spare time and stuff to be wasting. Whew… he’s full of himself. I may have to help him get off the pedestal he’s put himself on. Don’t get me wrong…. confident is good. However… over conceited is ugly. We’ll see which it is when I meet him…

I may or may not have a lunch date today….

Like I don’t have enough stuff to do.

My life is a constant challenge. I think I cling to it because I enjoy it… who knows?

One day the easy button will find its way to me… but today, I’m a busy girl, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

I hope you spend your holiday weekend laying by the pool and drinking cold beers.

I’ll be filled with envy as I put my house together, and try to keep my sanity in the process.

I need a vacation. I just keep repeating to myself… “One more month, One more month”

*sigh*

 

The Joys Of Moving

I bit the bullet yesterday and hired the movers. Screw it. The money is more than worth it this time!

This is the first time in my life I’ve ever used movers (because I’m cheap and poor) but I don’t regret it at all.

I still have vivid memories of moving into the apartment, and that alone scares me enough to spend whatever I need to spend to get out of going through hell again.

The instant stress relief I felt after making that phone call made me realize that I’d made the right decision.

These last couple of weeks have slap worn me out, and I’ve been up to nearly midnight every night doing something.

After work yesterday my son had ball practice (SURPRISE), so that kept me busy most of the night. Thankfully, my parents and my sister headed over to the house and hung the cabinet doors.

And I stopped by after practice to see them…

And I’m in love

And my kitchen decor is a coffee theme… about like this.

I think it’s going to look really good together. It’s so hard to choose paint colors because you never know what it’s going to look like until it’s on your walls and dried… but I’m pretty thrilled with the way it turned out. When I look at the boring before pictures, it’s amazing how different it looks.

See…

I think it’s going to look amazing after it’s decorated and stuff. I can’t wait…

I just want to get moved in already. This has been the longest two weeks ever, and I’m tired of working.

Although, I still have a LONG way to go… I’m thrilled that everything is coming together just as it should.

The refrigerator and microwave will be delivered tomorrow, and besides that, everything is in place and ready for us to move in. YAY.

I don’t even know why I stress about stuff because I know it’ll all work out. It always does. Yet, I still continue to drive myself crazy trying to control everything… even those things I can’t control.

I rushed home after my son’s ball practice because I’ve got to get packed. I’m not anywhere near being finished.. and everything has to be packed and ready to be walked out the door come Friday morning for the movers. Plus.. I’m working that day (since my daddy volunteered to supervise them) so I won’t even be there to finish last-minute stuff. It HAS to be done. No choice.

However, on my way home I realized there was just enough daylight left to get a run in, and since I haven’t been able to run all week I’m kind of having withdrawals.

So…. guess what I did?

Yep… I wasted about 45 minutes of packing time on a run. Sorry… I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t resist. It still amazes me how I can be addicted to something that totally kicks my ass. I don’t know why.. but I love it.

Afterwards, I did feel amazing and was ready to get my groove on packing. After a couple of hours I looked at the clock and it was getting close to midnight so I had to close up shop for the night. I still have a LOT to do.

Thank goodness my bff volunteered to come help me tonight… and this time, I’m buying the beer. We get a lot accomplished with beer.. I wonder why?

So…. everything is coming along just the way it’s supposed to.

I’m so thankful for everything. My friends and family have come together so gracious to offer their help. I’ve been lucky.. really lucky, and I couldn’t be more blessed with wonderful people in my life.

I’m so ready for a new start for the kids and I. I’m thrilled that they’re excited.. and I’m just grateful I am in the position where buying a place of our own is possible.

Even though life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, and even though our dreams don’t always come true… I’ve come to learn that everything always works out just the way it’s supposed to, and I’m ok with that.

 

 

The List

My list of ‘to do’s’ is a mile long and it exhausts me to even think about it.

However.. slowly but surely, things are getting marked off just as they are meant to be.

I went and painted my kitchen last night, and my lovely sis in law volunteered so graciously to help me. I was thrilled. Just as I’d gotten to the house and started painting… my bff called and informed me she was on her way over as well.

I hate to ask for help. Hate it. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone with all my stuff going on right now, but if they volunteer… heck, I’ll take whatever I can get.

Twenty minutes later she shows up ready to paint with a cooler of beer

God bless her soul. I love that woman.

A couple of hours later, the kitchen was complete and looking all kinds of beautiful.

It’s amazing how quick things can get accomplished with a little help…and I was SO thankful they were there with me.

I promised pics… and I’m going to deliver. The only thing left to do is hang the doors.. which is going to happen either today or tomorrow.

Before:

 

After:

 

It makes me happy. I can’t wait to get the doors up and look at it complete. It’s going to be awesome!

The washer and dryer I needed are in the process of being purchased. My sweet daddy is picking them up today, and I went to the appliance store at lunch and got an amazing deal on a new refrigerator, and a microwave to go over the stove. Plus… they’re going to deliver it, which takes away the stress of finding someone to pick it up for me. YAY.

Little by little… everything is coming together.

Seeing the forecast this morning made me nauseous about the move this weekend. Not only do we have to deal with those friggen stairs at the apartment.. but it’s also going to be 95*. Really?

So… I’m debating hiring a moving company. Yes.. I understand that’s the lazy way out, but seriously… I’ve already discussed how difficult it is to round-up people to help you move, and I’m tired of it.

I just want it to be taken care of… and this way, I will have no stress.

And that’s kind of important after the couple of weeks I’ve had.

Hmmmm. Decisions. Decisions.

Is it worth the cost? Is my sanity worth 85 bucks an hour?

I think so.

That will leave me with the job of supervising… and I can handle that much better than I can carrying a trillion boxes down those stairs.

Yep… I think my mind is pretty much made up. I’m going to just do it.

And not even think about the cost, because in the long run.. it’ll be worth it, I’m sure.

Hey.. it’s just money.. right?

*sigh*

AND….. even better, I don’t even have to attend the move this way. My daddy is going to go over and supervise, and when I get off work Friday, it will all be done and ready for me to put together again.

Ahhh… now that’s what I’m talking about.

I think it’s going to be a great holiday weekend after all, and I may even find a little time to lay out by the pool..

We’ll see…

 

Exhausted

I spent the weekend, or the majority of it, working on the house. Surprise! My life story.

I also learned that I’m not always smart when it comes to crafty projects. Ok. Ok… I’m never smart when it comes to crafty projects because I’m just not crafty. I wasn’t born with that kind of talent. Sorry.

But I realized this weekend, or Friday night to be exact, that painting cabinet doors lying flat on a piece of plastic is a bad, bad, bad idea.

Because… when you pick up the dried cabinet doors, with four lovely coats of paint on them… guess what happens?

They fucking stick.

YAY.

When I realized the shit I was in, I said as many cuss words that would come out of my mouth.

You know why?

Because all the edging had to be re-sanded, and re-painted.

I just love doing shit twice. It makes me all warm and tingly. *sigh*

At any rate, there was nothing I could do at that point but to just fix it. So I did. And it set me back several hours on finishing the project, but hell…. it is what it is.

They’re nowhere close to perfect, in fact…. there are several places that I just couldn’t get sanded down enough.. but at this point, I don’t really give a damn.

Finishing those damn things is at the top of my list. I’ve worked a week too long screwing with them and I’m past the point of being over it.

Guess what I have to do now?

I have to paint the kitchen…. because, when I paint, I don’t just paint what I’m supposed to be painting, I end up painting everything else too, including myself, appliances, the floor, and well… the walls. I’m special.

The good news though…. it’s looking really good. I can’t wait to see them done. Can’t friggen wait.

My mom came over yesterday and brought some cabinet liner with her to take that job off of my never-ending list. It is red and white checkered.. and it looked amazing in my cabinets.

Stupid me didn’t take a picture, but I’ll get one soon so you can see how awesome it looks.

I would love to say that I’ll never paint cabinets again… but if I told you that I’d be lying. I’m just a glutton for punishment or something, because I still intend to do the bathroom cabinets as well.

On a positive note.. the kitchen cabinets are DONE.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

However…. my dad still has to hang them back up, and while I love my daddy to pieces, I’m sure something will get nicked and scraped in the process, so there will be some touch up work I’m sure once they’re hung.. but other than that, I’m finished.

And tonight, because I just can’t stop there, I’m painting the kitchen.

Because I don’t have enough to do… right?

On my list of things to do this week as well… are, getting the gas turned on, buying a fridge, washer, dryer and a microwave. I also have to pack the rest of the apartment and be ready to move by this weekend.

Who knows what day yet because finding several people to help you move that are all available on the same day of a holiday weekend is damn near impossible. Geez.

On top of that… My son has practice Friday night, and a game on Saturday.

And I’m all up in the air of when this is going to be fit in.

If I don’t go crazy by the weekend it’ll be a miracle. Just say’n.

I know it’ll all work out, but I’m ready for the chaos to end. I’m all out of energy. I’m exhausted. And I just want to sleep for a whole day.

It’s times like this I wished I’d hung onto Mr. P for just a couple more weeks.

I know.. that’s awful to say, but dang… the extra help would have been nice.

Oh well… things happen for a reason, and I’m the model for the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

Too bad I don’t feel very strong… but I’ll get through it. I’ll do what I need to do to make it happen. I always do!

Oh… and I did actually make a little time to meet Mr. Electrician this weekend. I’m not saying it’s a match made in heaven… but I am saying it was good, and I didn’t regret it, so that’s a positive thing. He didn’t bore me to tears, and he’s funny, and sweet and attractive.

However… I’m so exhausted at this point I can’t even really focus on dating anyone because I just don’t have the time. Everyday on my calendar is filled with something.  Maybe in a month or so I’ll be settled and ready to have some fun, but until then, my main focus is getting moved and putting my life back together.

My love life will happen when it happens… it’s just not a top priority right now.

I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

 

Stop The Clock… Please

These days… time is flying by too damn quick. Eek.

I have one week, and a few days to finish my cabinet project, get everything put back together, deep clean the nastiness of the house, pack everything in my apartment, and move.

Whew. I have this really weird feeling moving isn’t going to happen next week.

Ugh.

I wanted to move next weekend because it’s a holiday weekend, which means I’ll have one extra day to get my house together before returning to work… but I seriously doubt I’m going to achieve that goal.

There is just too much to do for me, myself and I to finish. My ‘to do’ list is bigger than my available time. Ahh. The story of my life.

No biggie though. I’m just thankful I have the option of not having to actually move. I do have the leisure of taking my own sweet time, and even though I’d already love to be living in my house, I just have to let this roll off my back and take it easy on myself.

I can’t do everything.

I can’t be everywhere.

It’s just not possible.

On top of spending every available moment I have at the house trying to finish this project, I still have to take care of my apartment. Laundry is never-ending… it’s always messy, and my children aren’t quite the little cleaners I wish they were, nor do they have any inclination to start now. I haven’t been to the grocery store, the trash is running over, dishes are piling in the sink.. and I haven’t had time to do a single bit of it.

I’m drowning in chores… and I can’t seem to catch my breath.

I need a vacation. *sigh*

I haven’t gotten home until nearly 10pm every night this week, and I did good to jump in the shower before collapsing in my bed.

People… I’m exhausted.

I spent almost 4 hours painting cabinets last night. Even with my best friend helping…. we still didn’t get them finished up. Everything has three coats, which I think is going to be perfect, but I still have the drawers to do, as well as the back side of the cabinet doors and I’m probably looking at another full day before it’s completely finished.

On a positive note….they look awesome. I know in the end, I’m not going to regret taking on this project, or a single minute I’ve spent working on it. I’m so excited to get them finished and put back together so I can see the finished project. I know every time I walk into my kitchen… it’s going to make me happy, so spending a week working for years of happiness is worth it.

I’ve come to realize that I’ve been very boring in the past as far as color choices. Everything I’ve ever done has been neutral.

I’m done being neutral. I want to be bright. I want to stand out and take chances.

That’s my new goal. I want a house full of gorgeous colors, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I’m vowing to make my bedroom a welcome and beautiful place. I’ve always taken pride in the ‘other’ areas of my homes, but my bedroom has always been last to receive any TLC. That is going to change.

I’m going to paint, and decorate, and take on projects and do exactly what I want to do. I’m refusing to let the fear of messing up stop me from making my home beautiful.

I know I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. If I don’t know how to do it… google is my friend, and I can learn everything I need to know on the internet.

I’ve always let the excuse of having to do it alone deter me from doing things I wanted to do.

No more.

I am capable. And if I have to do it alone.. I will, and I won’t be scared.

Fear will no longer stand in my way.

Everything will eventually get done. Eventually.

Until then I’m just going to have to be patient (yeah right) and do what I can, when I can do it.

It’s not worth getting stressed over. It’s not worth exhausting myself over.

I haven’t gotten to run all week, and I’m not happy about that. Running makes me happy, makes me feel good and gives me a sense of accomplishment. When I don’t run… I feel run down, so I need to make an effort to make sure I’m still scheduling time for me…. even with all the chaos that surrounds my life currently.

Mr. Electrician has offered to help me, and even though I haven’t met him yet I’ve seriously contemplated letting our first date include cabinet painting. Yes…. I know that’s completely ridiculous, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I told ya I’m resourceful…see, I can even multitask and kill two birds with one stone.

Damn.. I surprise myself sometimes… (and I wonder why I’m single).. Ha

On a related note, I haven’t heard a peep out of Mr. (not so) P. since our little break up. I’m a little bitter about that too. Not that I still want to date him, but for someone to allegedly care so much about me, and then leave me high and dry in a time I needed him the most, well…that’s just shitty in my opinion. The least he could have done was offer his hand to help, even if he was a crappy boyfriend.

But he didn’t… and I’m not surprised. I thought he was a “show up” kinda guy….. but he didn’t waste any time in trying to prove me wrong. I love seeing true colors. And I love the line… “when someone shows you who they really are, believe them”

I was right all along…

I should trust myself more… because I’m pretty damn smart, if I do say so myself.

 

I’ll Never Learn

In my spare time (ha) I’ve been entertaining the online dating fiasco that I stupidly signed up for again.

Will I ever learn my lesson?

Probably not. I guess I’m not a fast learner after all.

I think I just enjoy it for the entertainment…… or something. Hell, I dont’ know what it is.

Like I even have the time to be meeting anyone right now.

That is…. unless they are handy. If they’re handy.. I’ll make time to meet them, because damn it.. I have a lot of work to do and two is better than one, right?

Does that make me selfish? I sure do hope not.

I think it makes me practical. I’m resourceful like that… it’s a great trait to have, I think.

Hey… a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I’m gonna go ahead and be honest and say that I’ve already got one on the line. I haven’t met him yet… but we’ve had this texting relationship going on for the last week, and finally talked on the phone yesterday.

Thankfully I didn’t want to strangle myself while trying to force words out of him like the conversations with Mr. P were. It was actually a nice conversation, and I think I might want to do it again.

Plus…think he’d be able to fix a few things I need help with. That kind of works in his favor..

He’s an electrician, and I just happen to need electric run out to my shed.

Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll meet him. But first, I have to make some time for that in my busy schedule.

He does seem cute too…. but he’s broke. YAY. At least he was upfront about it.

You gotta appreciate the honesty if nothing else.

How do I always get so lucky?

No.. really. It’s not about money at all in my opinion. As long as you’re not lazy, and work hard everyday…. I’m ok with that.

And if you can fix shit… it makes you being broke a little more attractive. Just sayn.

At least he doesn’t live with his parents like Mr. P…. hey.. that’s a plus.

I hate starting over. I hate even having to think about meeting someone else and doing this vicious cycle all over again. I suck at picking boyfriends.. I do. That’s definitely not one of my strong qualities. I seem to have more faith in people than I should. Blah.

It’s depressing…. but I’m not gonna let it get me down. I simply can’t. I have too much going for me to let my love life (or lack thereof) get me down.

I have everything else I want and need, except for that.

I know one day it’ll happen. I’ll meet that wonderful person and all my dreams will come true, but for now… I just have to work with what I have.

And I’ll be doing that tonight while I continue painting my cabinets. My best friend has volunteered to come help me out and I’m supplying the beer.

And after the week I’ve already had… I could use a few, or five adult beverages, and some girl time too

 

The Importance Of Time…

This week, my schedule runneth over.

Every single day I have something going on, and while I do love the chaos… sometimes, it does overwhelm me.

I have SO much to do. The new (old) house is calling my name, trying to get all these projects finished so we can move in, and I can’t even get over there to do it.

My sweet daddy is pressure washing for me today, cleaning out gutters and trimming the overgrown trees.

I love my sweet daddy and I’m so thankful for him. Everyone deserves a good daddy. I’m sad that my daughter doesn’t have one in her life, but thankfully, my daddy has picked up the slack and is also an amazing dad and role model for her.

Yesterday, I didn’t get home until after 10pm. My daughter’s softball season started with a double-header, and she did amazingly well. She even hit a home run…. and the smile on her face running into home plate made my heart happy.

It was at that point I realized…. it’s worth it. My time spent with my children is worth it. I don’t want to miss a thing. I want to be at every game, every practice and every single event that brings them joy. I will run myself ragged to make them smile, because ultimately.. that’s been my goal all along.

They are wonderful kids. I honestly couldn’t ask for more kind-hearted, sweet kids. Yes…they have their moments as do all children, but they are perfect in my eyes.

Children are nothing short of amazing and I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I want more.. a house full more, and maybe one day I’ll be able to have them, but for now… I’m thankful for what I do have. I’m thankful they are healthy and able to play sports. I’m thankful they have a drive to want to be great at everything they do. I’m thankful for my chaotic week, because that means my children are being children… and we’re working overtime making memories.

As they grow older… it’s the memories that matter. It’s the memories you hold onto as the time passes and the moments are no more. I want to share memories with them that will last throughout their lives.

I don’t want to be the perfect mother… but I do want them to look back on their childhood and see good things. I want them to know I care, and I’m there.. anytime they need me. When no one else is there for them… I want them to know I will always be, no matter what!

It’s not about having a lot of money. It’s not about having extravagant things.. or any of those luxuries. It’s about love… and showing love.

If nothing else… I can say that’s what my parents always did for me, and that’s what I’ll die trying to show to my own children.

I want them to know that I love them, no matter what.

I may not be able to provide them all their wants, but I have all the time in the world to be there for them, and that’s exactly what I’ll continue doing. At the end of the day, they’re not going to remember how expensive their shoes were, or how many electronic devices they owned. No.. that will be long forgotten. But they will remember that you were there. They’ll remember the time you spent with them, when you could have been elsewhere, doing something else.

So, even though my list of ‘to do’s’ is long and overwhelming…. it can wait.

The world isn’t going to end tomorrow if the painting isn’t finished.

It’s ok if we have to move in and it’s not perfect. It’s ok.

They’re not going to remember that anyway… but they are going to remember seeing my smiling face cheering them on at every event they’re a part of.

They’re going to remember my hugs and kisses and encouraging words.

And right now…. that’s the only thing important to me.

They are my life… and I don’t want to miss my life.

 

More Than I Bargained For…

Holy Jesus… I’m tired.

And when I say tired… I mean exhausted, delirious, body aching, tired.

What a weekend!

Don’t get me wrong.. I’m excited as all get out about my new (old) house, but the projects that lie ahead of me are a bit overwhelming.

Why did I think it was a good idea to buy a foreclosure? WHY???

Oh.. I know, because I got a steal of a deal, and it just couldn’t be passed up, and because I have more time than money… so it was the smart thing to do.

Well… I did have more time than money at one point, but now both are pretty hard to come by.

I have a bad habit of biting off more than I can chew…

My first project is painting cabinets, because.. well.. I sure don’t want to be painting cabinets and living there, so that was one thing I wanted to get done before we move.

On top of trying to complete said project, my life is in complete chaos right now due to sports schedules and end of the year school stuff. I’m up to my eyeballs in “crap” and I can’t see the light.

Saturday, I was up at 6am, on my own. WTF? I guess my body knew I had a lot of work to do. I headed out for a run to start my day, then the kids and I went to the house to get started.  My dad was waiting for us when we arrived, and I’ve never been so happy to see him. We started taking off the cabinet doors and sanding. That is a never-ending job. After a while I think I sanded my fingers off, and half the deck we were working on. I’d never sanded before I don’t think, and I learned one thing from this experience. Sanding Sucks! Thankfully one of my girlfriends came over and helped with that part. That’s all we accomplished Saturday… well, that, and various water leaks that kept appearing. Yay.

We tried our best to stop the leaks until we could get someone out to look at them. Finally, the water had to be turned off and we just had to deal with it.

Sunday… My dear son and I went back out to continue working. That’s all the help I could get, and I was a bit annoyed over that. I know the world doesn’t stop because I bought a house, but damn… this is a lot for a girl to do, alone.

ALONE… there is nothing worse than having a huge mountain in front of you to face, alone.

And… it was Mother’s Day… so I know people had plans. I’m the one who chose to go work on Mother’s Day…. but I didn’t really have much choice. The job has to get done, one way or another.

Walking into the house and seeing the mess in front of me…. I just wanted to run away.

 

I wanted to change my mind and give the house back and live in my apartment forever.

No.. not really, but it was at this point I felt completely overwhelmed with so much to do I didn’t know where to start.

So I finished sanding all the cabinets, and got them all laid out on the floor.

And I primed and painted and painted and painted. I painted until I was covered in paint. I painted until my son was covered in paint. Did I mention I hate painting?

I painted and cried and painted and cried. I don’t know why I was crying. It may have been that it was Mother’s Day. It may have been that I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of doing everything by myself. It may have been that it’s getting close to that time. Whatever the reason… I was just an emotional mess. My dear son is the sweetest little guy I know. I tried to hide it from him… but of course he saw I was upset…

S- “Momma, why you crying”

T- “I’m just sad honey”

S- “Momma, I love you. It looks so good. You’re doing such a great job. You’re the best mommy ever”.

Seriously.. that little boy is going to make a woman really happy one day. He’s the most kind-hearted, considerate kid I know, and I love him with all my heart. At eight years old he’s more of a man than most grown men… and that’s really sad.

So he took his screw driver around the house and tightened up everything he could tighten… because he wanted to help me out, and my heart melted.

In the midst of my sadness, tears, and frustrations, I did manage to get all the cabinet doors primed, and painted with two coats of paint. They still need about one to two more coats, but they are looking good, and I’m excited about that.

It’s a big job.. a lot bigger than I anticipated but I don’t regret doing it. I know it’s going to make me happy in the long run, so I’m just going to have to suffer until I get it completed.

My sweet son even helped me paint, and instead of perfecting his every stroke (like my normal perfectionist self would have) I simply let him paint his way, and he did a great job! I’m too exhausted at this point to be a perfectionist.

We worked until late afternoon and then headed to dinner with my mother, and family. Spending time with the people I love the mostest always puts a smile on my face…

All in all… it was a successful day!

Despite the tears…and frustrations, I know I’m blessed.

I have a great family and friends. My children are amazing, and I’m thankful I get to be their mother.

Yes… I have a lot of work in front of me, but I feel lucky to have the work to do, because that means we have a house! We’ve worked hard to get this far, and I’m not letting a little bit of hard work stand in my way.

Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… right?

 

I Bought A House

Yep… I did. This morning. It’s a done deal. Yay me!

I’m so darn excited.

Yes, the projects ahead of me are many… but it’s mostly stuff I want done… not stuff that has to be done, so I have the leisure of going at my own pace. That gives me some comfort…

However… I won’t be completely satisfied until it’s done. My head will keep telling me to work, work, work until it’s perfect.

You know… me and my perfectionism. I hate that about me.

Anyway… It’s going to be great, and I’m so proud of myself.

The kids and I will finally have a house of our own again, and that makes me feel so amazing.

They are so ecstatic. I told them we may get a dog and they were jumping for joy. Making my kid’s smile gives me more pleasure than anything in this world.

That is my ultimate goal. My measure of success. Happy children mean that I’m doing a good job… and even if that’s the only thing I’m good at in this life, that’s enough for me.

I’m ok with it just being “us”.

I look forward to the challenge of making this house a home for us, and can’t wait to begin the process of all the projects I have in mind.

Pinterest is the devil…. that’s all I’m sayin’. Ha

I’m thankful for my friends and family that surround me offering themselves for anything I need.

I’m thankful for my new neighbor that cut my acre of grass, and weed-eated as well.

Life is really great, and even on the worst days… I have no reason to complain.

I’m blessed!

Life is going to very busy for me for the next couple of months. Between baseball, softball, house projects and moving… our summer is jam-packed.

Looking at my calendar is overwhelming… but reminding myself we’re lucky to live this life we’re living is worthy of every moment of chaos.

Frankly… I love the chaos. It gives me serenity. I know I’m a bit weird.

I love staying busy.

I look forward to ball practice, ball games, and house projects. Those things make me happy. I look forward to mowing an acre and a half of grass on a weekly basis, and planting flowers, and painting, and landscaping, and everything in between.

I’m a happy girl today…